Wednesday, June 23, 2010

My Unique Conversations - Sneezing

Sometimes I notice that I am the only person who has certain conversations because I am the only person who thinks like I do.  I assume everyone has this experience.  Here's a conversation that only seems to happen to me: 

Me: Achoo!

Person: Bless you.

Me: Why did you say that?

Person: It's what you say when someone sneezes.

Me: No, it's not.  I never say that.

Person: *sigh* I mean, it's what normal people say when someone sneezes.

Me: Why would someone say that?

Person:  I thought you were a historian?  Don't you know that people once believed that you would lose your soul or something if someone didn't say 'bless you' after a sneeze?

Me:  Yes, I've heard that.  So, do you think I was in danger of losing my soul?

Person: No, that's stupid.

Me: So...why did you say it, at all?  Do you just say things without thinking about they mean?  Are all of your sentences just random synapsis firing with knee-jerk reactions to external stimuli?

 Person: Never mind!

They call me weird, but they are the ones quoting antiquated religious rituals that they don't even believe in.  I find THAT weird.  Then they say something clever, like, "Fine then, I won't say 'bless you' when you sneeze anymore, you jerk!"  Which is funny, because I really didn't care if they did in the first place.  (I would rather see them freed from the shackles of medieval superstition, but I fear I set my sights too high.)


 "Bless you!  Oh, and don't forget to rub garlic on your neck in case of vampires."

8 comments:

  1. Wow, I seriously thought I was the only one who protests when people say that crap after a sneeze. Why is it at all necessary to acknowledge bodily functions? No one says bless you when you cut a wicked fart, how is a sneeze any different? Glad to see you standing up for what's right.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well, I was told that my website is not opinionated enough because I don't take many stands. This is my Alamo.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Back in undergrad I was in a philosophy class when a student sneezed and a fellow student said, "Bless you."

    The prof stopped in the middle of the lecture and spent at least 10 minutes 'educating' the student as to why you should never say 'bless you.'

    It was awesome!! =)

    ReplyDelete
  4. but seriously, you shouldn't underestimate the value of garlic to ward off vampires. i eat a lot of it and have yet to be bitten by one.

    oh, and being in germany and all, i sure prefer to say "gesundheit"... works on nasty farts, too, if you're scared they might be caused by intestinal disorders.

    ReplyDelete
  5. #MUC

    I say "Bai sui"! Which is an American exchange student continuation of an ancient Chinese blessing.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I eat garlic about once a week. A few weeks ago I thought I heard something in my apartment but I didn't see anyone - I think it was a vampire who smelled my breath. Me - 1 Vampire - 0

    ReplyDelete
  7. Man, I've had this altercation in my mind a hundred times, but I've never had the boldness/audacity to have it out in words. Nice.

    ReplyDelete
  8. It happens to me all the time. "Everything in moderation." "But that's impossible! Then you would have to moderate in the extreme! It's a self defeating premise!" I should stop thinking so I can talk to normal people.

    ReplyDelete