Tuesday, January 6, 2009

O.C.D. and the Urine Sample

I visited my doctor today and learned that they have replaced the dingy white robes that open in the back with surprisingly warmer brown thick robes that still open in the back. I felt like a Franciscan, which made waiting for the doctor more entertaining as I looked in the mirror imagined myself tonsured.

After the main part of the visit I headed downstairs to give a urine sample. (Which is really a tall order since I wasn't allowed to eat all day at it was almost noon, I could hardly spit. I'm not sure how my body is supposed to create byproducts when I don't eat anything, but somehow I always manage.) After filling the cup I went back to the waiting room and, as I was instructed, placed my sample on the black tray with the other samples...

...then, the part of my mind that arranges books in the library and adjusts paintings in hotel rooms noticed that one of the cups was not in line with the other ones, so, I naturally reached out and moved it so that it looked right...

...and realized with a horrible shock that I had touched a stranger's urine cup! I ran to the bathroom, kicking two old ladies out of the way and shoving a nurse down the stairs to get there quickly enough to submerge my hand in boiling water for as long as I could stand it.

When it comes to O.C.D., if it's not one thing, it's another.


4 comments:

  1. I'm not sure that counts as O.C.D. Boiling water after touching someone else's steering wheel - O.C.D. Urine samples are a whole different story...

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  2. Wow! Thank you; that was the funniest thing I've heard all day.

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  3. Great story Adam. Had me laughing this morning.

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  4. You're sick, man. Get some help.

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