I know, you think it's cute and he's a sweet cat. Well, he's not. He's evil.
He's thinking about tearing my face off. And he has a serious romantic crush on my wife. When I leave for work in the morning he gets in bed and curls up with her. If I'm still there he gets upset at me and wants me to leave. He's jealous, but since we finally got him fixed I'm thinking that's gonna stop.
Although she appears to be a kitten, Molly is actually the Queen of England. (Assuming our apartment is England.) We are expected to love her and pet her, but she shows no gratitude or affection to anyone for doing so. If she could speak, she would tell us that we are lower life forms who should worship her; I am merely a bug in her perception. She is a beautiful cat and she is so soft you just want to pet her and hold her forever, but she won't let you. She would rather wander around looking regal and being snobby.
Why do we keep these two lunatics in our home? I have no idea! They don't like me and they don't care about me at all. They break things and attack me at each chance. But, for some reason, I really enjoy having them and would shudder at the idea of owning a smelly, slobbery dog.
In case you are wondering, we got the name for these two from a Beatles song, Obla di obla da, from the White Album, which is about a young couple named Desmond and Molly Jones. Watch this video if you can't remember the song, it is one of the coolest things I have ever seen!