Tuesday, August 7, 2007

You can start all over, again

One mistake after another; my life was falling apart. As I tried to pick up the broken pieces that were left I only made things worse. As I watched the immutable passage of time sweep me from one disaster to another I could only look behind me and try my best to salvage what was left.

I was looking at a wasteland, in my path I had left destruction. Failed hopes and missed chances were all I could see. The worst part was that the steady march of time pushed me on, past those things, so I could only look back on them; I could fix nothing. As time went on, I only destroyed more of my life. As I tried to solve one problem I would see more of them pass me by. Things were crumbling all around and moving past me in defiance of my will to live a better life. The only thing that changed as I looked behind me was that I was destroying more and more things every day.

Then He put His hand on my shoulder and tried to turn me around. He said, "Stop looking back there, turn around, look in front of you."

But I wouldn't. I was afraid. I found only the smallest comfort in my suffering, but at least I knew what to expect there, I had no idea what lay ahead of me.

But He persisted. "Turn around, it's going to be alright. I promise." I didn't want to admit that I was scared, but I knew that Jesus already knew how I felt. I didn't want to change, I didn't want to do anything different, but I finally grew tired of what I was seeing.

I turned around to see what lay before me. In front of me, everything was fine. It was not a wasteland, it was perfect.

"You can start all over, again," He said, "Just as if nothing ever happened."

There was a tenderness in his voice that went beyond any love I had ever known. I tried to look behind me, but he wouldn't let me.

"It's over," He said, as he led me onward, "It's over. You can start from here. Your life is not a wreck, it's perfect, just look ahead of you."

"But, Lord," I pleaded, "I am only going to mess it up again. Look at what I did before!"

"Then I will help you. I won't let you destroy the rest of your life. We are going to walk together the rest of the way. I have plans for you."

It was the best day of my life.

1 comment:

  1. So hard it is too stop looking back. The light is really good there. I can see everything I did wrong. How I should have, could have, did not... Once in a while I am brave enough to look forward. Jesus says, "come on, I love you." But, I say, I did..., I thought that..., I have tried before. Something always happens. "That was when you tried in your strength. Read my word. Put on my thoughts. Take my hand." When I raise my head, look into his face, read his word, put on his thoughts there is no condemnation there. The weight is gone from my mind. I can run unburdened in him. Those days are worth everything. Daily seeking Jesus is our task in order to walk in his strength.